Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Randomize
