He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
