Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
