She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
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I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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