when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
