Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
