Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
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