What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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