I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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