So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
