making cat noises will not fix the situation.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
