just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
