just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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