the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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