Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
