hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
We left the knife in your bed.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
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