he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
