After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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