I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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