Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Randomize
