he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
