hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
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