he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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