Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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