Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
