Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
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