how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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