She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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