I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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