and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
