The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
