White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
