i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
