Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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