yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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