it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
