I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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