fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
