they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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