Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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