started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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