I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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