hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I'm gonna have a badass scar
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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