I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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