So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
