Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
