I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
