you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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