Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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