There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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