My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
