Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(301): View more from Maryland

I want to kish your cheek

(248): View more from Michigan

My cheeks are in Michigan

(301): View more from Maryland

Oh my lips are kind of stretchy

Fav 4 2339 1013
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(303): View more from Colorado

Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England

Fav 63 17503 1634
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(325): View more from Texas

Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?

Fav 155 1040 5730
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(904): View more from Florida

my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.

Fav 96 7933 1243
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(647): View more from Ontario

A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".

Fav 6 1552 2341
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(402): View more from Nebraska

Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.

Fav 3 1761 1023
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home

Fav 6 1505 874
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(707): View more from California

No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.

Fav 1 670 249
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(843): View more from South Carolina

What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!

Fav 0 118 20
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