it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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